Well, excuse our French, but we must say… What a fucking time to be alive?! Though we’re certain reclusiveness wasn’t high on your resolutions list this year, if it were, you’re off to a roaring start. In any case, here we are.

Gone are the days of candidly standing next to one other without freaking the fuck out over whether the provisional mile between meets code, “1.5 meters thank you very much!” All outings are accompanied by an absurd in-depth risk assessment analysis and consideration of essential necessity. Hand sanitizer and toilet paper – consigned to extinction. Our beloved beach havens – closed. And now it seems we can’t purchase more than one packet of brown rice without our grocery store neighbour giving us the old stink eye.

So, how do we endure isolation and prevent the risk of contracting the dreaded Corona Virus contagion? Here’s what we’re proposing:

COVID 19 Survival Guide 101

Give Your Immunity a Boost

Your health is of the utmost importance, always, however especially during this period whereby compromised immunity places you in the COVID “at-risk” category. To combat this frightful prospect, we strongly advise you boost your immune system. Think vitamin C-rich foods, including tomatoes, capsicum, papaya, strawberries, lemon, and oranges. Zinc is another imperative nutrient for immune support, and you’ll find it readily in eggs, meat, nuts, and seeds.

Definitely load up on your greens, these are high in B vitamins and full of antioxidants, which help with decreasing oxidative stress. Though soaking in the sun is our preferred go-to for vit D consumption, basking in nature amongst the autumnal rays should suffice to see you through this sand-less hell. We also encourage you to include ginger, garlic, onion, and turmeric for an extra boost. The aim of the game – each of your meals should resemble a rainbow.

Sweet Slumber

Obtaining 8 hours of sleep every night is an absolute non-negotiable. A lack of sleep is taxing on your body and can compromise immunity.

Work. Home. Home. Work

The expression bringing work home with you takes on a whole new meaning during this period. For some this indistinction between work and life has made it exceedingly hard to stay focused and motivated; or reversely relaxed and at ease. Let us preface what follows by saying your feelings are completely validated; you are not alone in this. Given the inevitable economic fall-out to follow this tumultuous time, remaining enthused and career-driven is of paramount importance, however, it is important to create a distinction between your work and your home despite the hysterical proximity of the two.

Here’s the play: Go about your typical morning routine; be sure to get those endorphins pumping with a ‘virtual’ workout (we’ve proposed some goodies under the next heading, we got’chu boo); take comfort in the fact that you need not rush for the bus and indulge yourself in mindful eating over breakfast; get dressed as if you were going to work (sloppy joes are not a mogul make), and finally shoot for two-hour supercharged increments of productivity implementing small breaks in between.

Break a Sweat

In a time of crisis, it is important to spark a little joy in our lives! We recommend a good dosage of daily endorphins to support this. Endorphins are released when you exercise, they are like a happy drug, without the comedown. Given the recent closure of our cherished fitness studios, online classes have become the new norm. Our fave virtual studios are:

• Lean Bean Fitness guaranteed to have you sweating like a piglet.
• Hustl. born and bred in Byron Bay and the only locale to sweat, as far as we’re concerned. Alexz, owner of Hustl is the reason why there is such a cult following. Her energy is infectious, not to mention her rig. Utterly divine. Her workouts hit every nook and cranny.
• Tracy Anderson this one is not for the faint-hearted, though emerging on the other side of isolation a Victoria’s Secret Model could be a fun perk – there is a silver lining in everything!
• Sky Ting yoga for a bit of downward dog and deep belly breathing. Sure to help dissipate any feelings of disarray.

Self Lovin’

These changeable times are forcing us to slow down and go within. This may seem like a daunting mission for some, but it is important to recognise that introspection is the master key to peace, creativity, and manifestation of new opportunities. The longest and most challenging love affair you will ever have is with yourself and if you aren’t happy with the ‘you,’ you’re in bad company. Be sure to be gentle with yourself and give yourself the love you deserve.

There is no time like the present, and if you aren’t already on board, we recommend jumping on the meditation bandwagon. A wonderful way to still the mind and practice some self-awareness, there are apps that can lead you down the garden path such as, Headspace and Calm or why not meditate with the gods themselves, Oprah and Deepak Chopra, they are doing a free 21-day meditation challenge.

Be Your Own Sex God

Sex and self-pleasure was once a taboo topic, nowadays it has become an integral part of our wellness journey. Whilst we are navigating the depths of self-isolation, this might be a polite time to get reacquainted with yourself (if you aren’t already, you sexy thing). It is important that we boost our neurotransmitters, serotonin, and dopamine with a dose of oxytocin, these are referred to as our happy hormones. Oxytocin is a ‘loving’ hormone that is released during childbirth, breastfeeding, hugging, and our favourite, climaxing. Research suggests that low levels of oxytocin have been linked to depression therefore it is imperative that you are having orgasms around the clock in order to help relieve additional stress and keep the cadence going.

If you haven’t enrolled in masturbation and you are facing uncharted waters, feel what works for you, this in turn could also unleash some emotional blockages that have been lingering in your subconscious as our womb space holds a lot of our past trauma. If you are needing a helping hand in this arena, allow us to introduce to you Roommate, Cohere’s first offspring. She has a rhythm for all tangos, a true multi-tasker, she oscillates while providing a gentle suction to that orgasm button. Must we go on? Deliriously happy times ahead.