Understanding and expressing love to your lover can manifest in many a shade. There is a distinct push-pull as how you love may not resonate the same as your significant other, but by grasping the most potent pathways to their heart, you might sidestep the need to pour excessive thought and energy into less impactful gestures.

For those that haven’t acclimatised, there are five different love languages, according to 90s marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman – acts of service, gift-giving, quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. These five love languages are based on a theory that suggests each person showcases their affection through a unique lens, but what about in the boudoir? 

Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words for this posse. For them, love is demonstrated through tangible gestures that ease the burden of responsibility or show thoughtfulness. ‘Let me drop you to your special dinner with the girls’, ‘can I collect you from the airport’,  ‘I’ll do the dishes’, brings you a coffee in bed. They might not be able provide all the words, but they can certainly show it. 

Having a rumble in the sheets is usually a two man job and a reciprocal affair, however, prioritising your partners desires on a sexual whim, whether it’s indulging in oral or whatever gets them going will ignite the passion and elevate the experience. 

Gift-giving

Ah, who doesn’t adore a thoughtful gift? But this crew takes it up a notch, reveling in the joy of giving and receiving year-round, not limiting themselves to just birthdays and Christmas. We’re talking about a constant flow of surprises, both grand and subtle, be it weekly, monthly, or even daily. 

When it comes to intimacy – yes, that includes Cohere’s personal favourite: sex toys! The beauty of it all? Everyone gets to indulge. It’s a gift for one and all. And within this realm, lingerie reigns supreme alongside erotic literature, blindfolds, handcuffs – the whole shebang.  

Quality Time

For those who relish quality time, showing affection means savouring each other’s company without distractions. This isn’t just about the lavish dinners and grand getaways; it’s all about the moments where your attention is undivided. Make and honour plans, ensuring your focus remains solely on your partner.  It is essential to stay present, maintain eye contact, and don’t be afraid to declare a tech-free zone to keep outside interference at bay.

Where intimacy is concerned – mindful sex is how to engage this crowd. It’s often quite apparent when your partner’s attention drifts during intimacy, it’s like catching someone staring at their phone during a movie – not a premium experience. It is essential to stay present, maintain eye contact, and proceed with attentiveness.

Words of Affirmation

Defined as a verbal expression of love. A simple ‘I love you’, ‘proud of you’, ‘you are stunning’, and ‘you are utterly appreciated’ is enough for this crowd to get the warm and fuzzies. Compliments, words of encouragement, gratitude, and endearment are powerful tools that help them build confidence within the connection. For them, this speaks volumes. 

When it comes to intimacy, the term “vocal” takes centre stage. This is not just about them singing their orgasms loud and proud. This is when you get to become involved to really amp up their big O. Expressing audibly how your partner’s body drives you wild not only ignites their arousal but also serves as a subtle invitation to introduce some dirty talk. 

Physical Touch

This feels obvious, especially where sex is concerned, however, its real power lies in the subtle moments of daily connection. This crowd loves to hold hands, maybe a squeeze on that cute butt, tender kisses, spooning, frequent hugs or leaning into their space. 

When it does comes to sex, it’s all about the way in which you touch your lover, which can profoundly affect them. It’s the little things throughout the day – lingering hugs and kisses – stretching out the foreplay sesh, and indulging in sensual touches, strokes, and caresses.