Cohere studio
Cohere studio


No doubt you’ve been busy attempting to tan, tickle, rub, stroke, BEAT, those preposterous cottage cheese reminiscent dimples that have selfishly acquired real estate on your tooshie. That’s right, cellulite. One could shudder at hearing the term let alone contending with it. We understand your pain and here’s what we’re proposing, banish the bastard for good! But first let’s take a closer look at this dreaded dapple.

What the hell is it and why do we get it more than men?

Cellulite is essentially fat deposited beneath the skin surface, that when enlarged pushes against connective tissue resulting in that yummy peaked terrain that we’ve grown to fear and hate. It is more prevalent in women due our fibrous bands running vertically beneath the skin surface, as opposed to men whose fibrous bands run on a diagonal. Fortunate bastards!

Contributing Factors

Dietary habits do get a bad rap when it comes to cellulite; and of course, it can be due to over consumption of sugar, alcohol and foods that are high in GI; however, there are multiple factors that can also come into play, so we wouldn’t go blaming it all on the pasta and tiramisu you’ve inhaled just yet.

A build-up of inflammation within the body can cause an increase in swelling as well as an accumulation of toxicity. Another culprit may well be estrogen dominance; a common hormonal imbalance resulting in too much estrogen circulating within the body; which causes the connective tissue to weaken and accommodate extra fat. This can also reign true for estrogen deficiency, which occurs predominantly during menopause, for us ladies ageing grants us with less muscle tone and vascular permeability, this is due to a decrease in estrogen predisposing the development of cellulite.

Enough about cause and effect, how do we rid our rigs of this ass assailant?

In order to reduce and heal the cellulite we need to restructure the area and increase the blood supply to facilitate better drainage. Here are some ways to help improve that gorgeous derrière of yours.


This one is massive! Hydration is always key, but especially when it comes to cellulite. You want to be able to flush out the toxins and improve circulation.

Get Active

As we’re sure you could have guessed, sitting down all day won’t win you battles in the war against cellulite. Exercise aids in moving fat deposits, however not all exercises were created equal in this department. We recommend yoga, barre, and pilates – all heavy on squats and lunges – which will target trouble areas more directly and help stretch the muscle fibers.

Dry Brushing

Dry brushing your body each morning with light pressure stimulates the connective tissue and enhances circulation. When done consistently over time, this practice will work wonders in helping decrease the appearance of cellulite.

Infrared Sauna

Infrared sauna’s help rid the body of toxic build up via sweat. Detoxifying the body improves lymphatic drainage, which in turn decreases inflammation and improves the appearance of cellulite.

Foam Rolling

This is so underrated. Foam rolling helps minimise the appearance of cellulite by massaging the fascia and connective tissue, assisting in breaking up accumulative fat cells. It is also amazing after a workout to avoid aches and pains.


Give yourself some love and boost circulation the old-fashioned way, self-massage. Target problem areas with your favourite essential oils; we suggest sesame oil, coconut oil, rose hip or jojaba. Alternatively, conduct your rub down in the shower with a yummy coffee scrub, or something akin, which will also serve to improve skin tone by increasing blood flow and removing dead skin cells. The caffeine will stimulate dilation. Together it’s the perfect combo.


As we alluded to earlier toxicity is a key accessory to cellulite and thus it is important to reduce toxic load on the liver. This can be done by limiting your intake of alcohol, caffeine, salt, refined sugar and processed foods. Increase your intake of greens (load up on these to alkaline your body), vitamin c, zinc and antioxidants.


We promise we’re not preaching. Practice the above and best believe you’ll be packing a peachy punch when summer rolls around!