Ladies! If you’re approaching the, at first daunting, three zero, we are here to tell you, you are entering your prime. Embrace it, relish in it. The years 30 and up are the best thus far, an age milestone whereby we can really start to let go of our inhibitions and take our feminine energy by the reigns. Valid, Rona has created a few minor setbacks, nonetheless, this has granted us the time to sit back and enjoy orgasms around the clock. We shit you not, this should be at the top of your daily to – do list. But what if you just aren’t turned on anymore, you may be questioning, is it him, or her, or me? 

Perhaps you’ve broached this subject with your girlfriends and if you have, some of them may argue that it is because you’re single and haven’t found the right one yet (eye roll). Or maybe you are out of lust with a certain him or her. It may very well be the latter case and if it is, then pardon our frankness, but it is most definitely time to move the fuck on. We cannot have you laying there like a starfish, faking an orgasm just for appeasement. But before we throw away that relationship like an old tattered t-shirt, there are several other factors that can come into play which might be responsible for you losing your mojo.

Let us talk nerdy to you.

A lot of women experience a decrease in arousal due to psychological factors such as stress, depression, fatigue and low self-esteem. During these uncertain and changeable times, it is only natural that you may be experiencing a decrease in pleasure, orgasmic difficulties or dissatisfaction with your sex life.

Sexual function involves multiple neurotransmitters and hormones working in equilibrium, there is a complex balance between inhibitory and excitatory pathways in the brain. For example, dopamine, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone play an excitatory role, whereas serotonin and prolactin are inhibitory. Thus, decreased sexual desire could be due to a reduced level of excitatory activity, an increased level of inhibitory activity, or both.

Additional contributing factors.

An androgen deficiency could be affecting your libido. Androgens are hormones that contribute to the development and reproduction in both men and women. The ovaries and adrenal glands secrete the female body’s supply of androgens. They are usually thought of as male hormones; however, women produce a small amount as well. We need androgens to help produce a healthy sex drive. A loss in androgens can be caused by various factors including stress.

Another potential culprit could be the contraceptive pill. This little pill gets a bad rap, and to be honest, for good reason. The pill provides you with faux hormones, which inhibits your natural hormones – namely estrogen and progesterone. The pill may be preventing you from falling pregnant but suppressing these hormones can affect your female hard-on long term, and quite honestly life is too short for shitty sex.

How to boost the libido and have you shaking like a leaf again –

Stress less

Easier said than done we know, but if you have a tremendous amount of stress in your life then it is time to sit with it and take the pressure right off. Your mojo will come back in her own time. This is temporary. Do not compare your sex life to your girlfriends’ as everyone is different. It is ok not to have the sexual urge to fuck everything in sight, especially whilst we are going through a pandemic, a lot of people are losing their jobs and experiencing monetary loss so there are a lot of neggy vibes and energy circulating at the moment. If you aren’t already, why not jump on the meditation bandwagon? A wonderful way to still the mind and practice some self-awareness.

Daily exercise is also imperative to get the juices flowing. Dance around the living room. Move that body and let the stress fade away.

Self-Massage

If you are in no mood to flick the bean then it is time to channel your femininity and have some alone time getting reacquainted with your body. There are many other ways to be intimate with yourself outside the bedroom, perhaps after your shower or bath, massage some coconut oil into your skin with absolute tenderness, especially around your breasts. Touch in this area will stimulate the release of oxytocin, also known as our ‘loving hormone’ which can also decrease stress levels and possibly get you in the mood. Ooo la la.

Nutrients

• Natural aphrodisiacs. Gosh don’t we know them well? Every time a dozen oysters are sent to the table, someone has to shout out ‘I’m getting lucky tonight’. Well darling, we are here to tell you to shove them down the hatch. If you are unfamiliar with the term aphrodisiac, it is an agent that arouses sexual desire as well as increasing pleasure and performance. Oysters are known to trigger all the right senses, just the visual of you tilting your head back and letting it slide down your throat is enough to give anyone a tingle. In saying that, these vagina-like critters are also very high in zinc which is associated with fertility and sperm production, as well as boosting dopamine levels which will enhance that libido of yours. Bottoms up!
• Cacao is another fave natural aphrodisiac and also high in zinc. Dark chocolate is rich in tryptophan, a precursor to serotonin, which is our ‘happy’ hormone. This in turn will promote the release of dopamine. As mentioned above, dopamine serves as the key excitatory neuromodulator in sexual desire, whereas serotonin serves as the key inhibitory neuromodulator. In a nutshell, don’t hold back on any dark chocolate cravings.
• Pomegranate has been shown to increase testosterone levels in men and women, which in turn amps up the sex drive. Add these babies to your salads pronto!
• Research suggests that Maca root may help to increase sexual function, over an eight to twelve-week period. You can add small amounts of maca powder to your morning smoothie. Who knows, come afternoon you could be ready for an afternoon delight with a special someone.

Self-Pleasure

Whether you are single or in a partnership, it might be time to enroll in some masturbation, if you haven’t already. If you are facing unchartered waters, feel what works for you – literally. Use that coconut oil that you just massaged into that hot rig of yours and head down south. This will help re-build a connection between your heart and genitalia and could also unleash some emotional blockages that have been lingering in your subconscious, as our womb space holds a lot of our past trauma. Sometimes we are just wound up so tight that the only thing left to do is have an orgasm, if not for pleasure then to at least assist in relieving additional stressors.

If you are used to manual labour and you still aren’t climaxing, then do yourself a favour and get a god damn sex toy. They are a sure deal, unlike fuckboy. Deliriously happy times ahead!