Cohere Studio
Cohere Studio

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Friday eve. The night before our last day of work. It’s so close, we can almost pop the confetti. Must we wait for this magical moment though? Absolutely not, pop the cork. Ugh that sweet taste of grape containing full-bodied happiness, hints of intelligence, and charm.

 

If you are anything like us, when it comes to wine, we go with anything that has a sexy-looking label or whatever the hot bartender tells us to drink. That’s how it goes, right? Quick swirl, sniff, a nod, perhaps even a wink, and we’ve nailed the perfect drop. Although with so much choice in our liquor cabinets these days, it’s hard to know what we are actually pouring down the hatch. There is constant hypothesizing pertaining to natural, biodynamic and organic wines, which are now touted as being the drop of choice. This begs further questioning. Firstly, why and if so, would this threesome deliver a slightly slender hangover?

 

Are all grapes created equal.

 

We want transparency when it comes to wine, however, the term ‘natural’ scattered across a label may still contain additives, similar to an el natural beauty routine. An array of products filled to the brim with an everlasting list of ingredients, which are occasionally flaunted on their rear. Organic and biodynamic wines have a separate pre-requisite and certification to uphold. They must provide labelling of ingredients, so a few sips with this couple is your best bet at avoiding any harmful additives. Ideally, we want our wine to be minimally tampered with and able to count the ingredients on one hand.

 

Sulphur is most common in winemaking as it is naturally present on the skin of the grape, it is a preservative and a toxic agent that kills bacteria, although used in small amounts. Organic and biodynamic wines have strong limits on their intake of sulphur. Readily available wines do not and are often laced with GMOs and chemicals i.e. pesticides, fungicides, and fertilizers. Grape skins are thin and pervious and are included in the dirty dozen for this very reason. As a result, we are ingesting these wholesome organic diets but our wine of choice may not be showing up to the party in the same uniform.

 

Will I be less hung if I go el’ naturale.

 

It depends on the drop in question. Research suggests that beverages that are composed of greater amounts of pure ethanol i.e. white wine, vodka, or gin will produce a milder hangover in comparison to congeners. These pups are darker in colour, odour, and taste, such as red wine, brandy, or whiskey. The more sulphates added to the bottle can spark an angrier hangover, but again, this is determined by the human in question as well as the amount, and potion of choice. Our tolerances are utterly diverse.

 

With that being said, papa bear’s wine cellar has been meticulously chosen, we suspect years in the making. To reject his special reserve wine could present havoc amongst the household. At the end of the day, it is still alcohol. Your body will still need to metabolise and detoxify accordingly so, fucking yolo. We’re here to provide you with the facts, whether you can swallow them or not is solely up to you.